Great amount of anger

Current Song: "Little Brother- Hiding Place"

1st my apologies for not keeping everyone up to date with whats going on but working two gigs and staying social gets to me but here we go, I have a lot on my plate.

Sept 15 2008 enjoyed one of the best Monday night football games I have ever seen. Good match up and chilling with my ace boon koon Black. So of course I'm in a good mood. Game ends around midnight and I am readying myself for bed. Then something hits me, and emotionally it takes a vicious toll on me. The next day is my fathers birthday. Special moment most would say right... Usually but here is the thing. The past year my father and I has had very very poor communication. But its due to the fact that he had issues at home and picked up and left. Mind you that he lives in another location than I do.
So with all that he dissappears for a good seven months. Which means alot of restless nights and worry days filled with hidden tears. But in April of this year we met up, spoke and got things back on track. And he made me a promise that he would keep in contact with me by any means necessary... Well once again I haven't heard from my father since Mid May asking how i did on my finals.
Between that time and now. Text'd and called to wish a happy fathers day, went to where he suppose to be living now, spoke with my little sister and it just doesnt seem to get through. So why angry now you ask?
My mother returns home last night and tells me that she spoke with my dad and he told her that "I dont deal with Al simply because he didn't graduate and I dont want to pay for that school bill. So why should I feel obligated to him?" WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ABOUT!!!??? Like I'm one not for the he say she say but you gotta understand here people i have no answers to go by with this man in to why he is just a complete mystery.
Now I see why I got chalked, but is it really worth it?! That question rumbles in my mind all last night up till this point. Own flesh and blood, father and son, two people who suppose to be best friends and I get chalked because you can't pay a bill that i told you is my responsibility in the very beginning. Like I dont wanna sound like a bitch but i've shead too many tears in that short time span over this. But once again, I see why this happened. Its letting me know "Alfie. Get you mind a bit more focused. Finalize your plan and be that man you know you can be."
I am damn sure gonna do that. But getting through this current mountain of pain is my biggest problem. I do feel alot better getting this out so I'm gonna close on this note. Happy Birthday Dad. Your Boy still loves you. Bye people