Ain't this a kick in the pants

Current Song: Lupe Fiasco feat. Yummy Bingham "Much More"

Okay ppl. So the past week I've been in and out of various offices, interviews, meetings and homes, trying to get a grip on a better career opportunity. Which means I have had no time for my little ones, this blog, friends and Mom's nagging (which isn't too bad there). But today was a real sack breaker. Interviewed at this factory today. Nailed the greetings, had some laughs, conversed about my life and his. Then he his me with something I never heard before. "You're a good kid, and personally this job is way beneath you. You're no dummy, so I can tell you're better than this." WTF is that about man?! I was hit with an ultimate stunner. But i took the drive time as well as the time b4 writing this to realize. Yo, I'm not as spectacular of a guy as I thought I was. For him to tell me that means the things I do and say never excite the ppl for long. Jr High and High school teachers and mom always telling me "You only do just enough to pass, nothing extra." A key relationship failed due to "I plateaued the joys and fun between us." Jobs "You are a consistent worker among us, but do you think that you can kick it up a notch?"
Its comes down to this. I'm not settling for what the masses want from the start. I'm making moves to get and achieve greatness and beyond. Its only fair that after a certain point in time that I can demand/deserve the same. Maybe, Just maybe this will gain the pleasures from the world I seek with love, money, motives, friends, family, all the way down to looking in the mirror everyday. Soon all this will amount to something then I will get everything and everybody I want around me.
On the brighter side of things I have plans to travel to Europe in late fall or early winter. Two Countries in two weeks. Any and all are welcomed if you can afford.

Fresh Start aka: The Inebriated Vision

Current Song Playing: Labi Siffre- I Got the (Blues)

Well ppl. this is my first blog site and attempt! This is the point in time that you should be proud and say well good for him. If thats not the case.... Fuck u i just wanted some damn approval! lol. But lets get down to business. So what im gonna do from this moment on is relay my thoughts and personal feelings twice a week. Simply my therapist considers this a healthy thing to do. I will get basically fully detailed with descriptive scenery, ppl and thoughts of course. So im gonna begin this with this past day of June 20th 2008. The day my cousins 1st nephew died.
Why is it that when ppl reach out whenever listen to them? Or if we do listen, why don't we as a dominate species on the planet help our fellow man? Clearly this boy has had issues with his stepfather abusing him and his own mother taking the side of the stepfather only to be found lying dead on the floor of his own bedroom. So nobody sees the signs of someone trying to reach out. In short a simple cry for help. Only now that ppl are in a frenzy to help him. But at his age of 16 is to find a place to lay his head for eternity. Sad is the cliche way to put it. In my mind i would say its morally appalling to the masses. My concern is how will certain ppl react when im dead and gone. And with the dreams I've had for the past 8 years i really don't have that much time left to handle my life accordingly. Maybe I'm playing too much in to a simple dream/nightmare.
Life is complicated don't get me wrong. But where do we draw the line and consider just breathing and taking in the current moment a privilege and satisfaction. At this moment it is four in the morning, sitting in my basement with HBO on the flat screen and a couple of friends came through to have a couple of drinks, left and it took my mind off of the topic of death for quite some time. Now its like i always had someone here to leave all the current thoughts behind.
Eh. I'm just getting a bit too real for my current mind set. Love to all and these next couple of days you will hear from me.